We hear it all the time: "Be authentic." It's hailed as the gold standard of modern leadership — a trait that inspires trust, builds connection, and signals integrity.
But when we look beneath the surface, authenticity isn't always as simple as it sounds.
What if the self you bring to work doesn't match the mould of expected leadership? What if your version of "real" makes others uncomfortable?
When I was getting married in 2012, I wanted the students whom I led to attend my wedding. Unconventional I know, but at the time I was Head of Secondary services at The PACE Centre, where I worked with young people who had physical and motor disabilities – the majority of the young people had cerebral palsy. Having worked at The Pace Centre for seven years, the young people were a huge part of my professional life. In many ways, they shaped who I am as a professional and as a person. I wanted to share this moment with them.
At the time, I was leading a team and the young people themselves were very much a part of my authentic self. My decision divided opinion. There were those who felt that I was blurring important professional boundaries and that it was inappropriate. Others felt that it was a natural extension of the relationships that we had built over time.
I was clear in my own mind that this was the right thing to do. And I would do the same today.
The concept of authenticity in leadership is one that I think about a great deal — because who gets to be authentic at work, and on whose terms, is rarely a neutral question.
Authenticity as Permission — But For Whom?
The leadership literature is full of encouragement to "bring your whole self to work." But this invitation is rarely experienced equally.
For leaders from marginalised groups — whether by race, gender, disability, sexuality, or class — the "whole self" often includes experiences, identities, and ways of moving through the world that are still treated as unusual, unprofessional, or simply unfamiliar in many leadership contexts.
Bringing your whole self to work can mean having to educate colleagues about your cultural background. It can mean having your communication style read as "too emotional" or "too direct." It can mean navigating spaces where the dominant culture of leadership was never built with you in mind.
In those contexts, "be authentic" can feel less like liberation and more like exposure.
The Performance of Professionalism
There is a version of professionalism that asks people to leave significant parts of themselves at the door. To speak in a particular register. To express emotion only in carefully managed ways. To present a leadership identity that fits a largely unspoken template.
This template is not neutral. It has a cultural history. And it consistently advantages some people over others.
When we celebrate authenticity without examining this, we can inadvertently reinforce the idea that some leadership styles are more "natural" than others — when in reality, they are simply more familiar.
Authentic Leadership Is Not Just About You
Here is something I think we miss in conversations about authentic leadership: it is not only about expressing who you are. It is also about how your authentic self lands with others.
Leadership operates in relationship. The most self-aware leader in the room still needs to ask: Is my authenticity creating space for others, or closing it down?
There is a difference between a leader who is authentic because they say exactly what they think without filter, and a leader who is authentic because they have done the work to understand their values, their biases, and their impact — and leads accordingly.
One version of authenticity is really just self-expression. The other is integrity.
What Authentic Leadership Actually Requires
Genuine authentic leadership, in my view, requires three things that are rarely mentioned in the inspirational posts:
First, self-knowledge — not just knowing your strengths and your story, but also your blind spots, your defaults under pressure, and the ways your identity and experience shape how you see the world.
Second, contextual awareness — understanding the environments and systems you are operating in, including whose norms are centred and whose are not.
Third, accountability — being willing to receive feedback when your "authentic self" is causing harm or narrowing the room for others, and being prepared to do something about it.
Without these, authenticity risks becoming a shield: a way of resisting feedback, excusing behaviour, or avoiding growth.
A Different Question
Rather than asking "Am I being authentic?", I find it more useful to ask: "Authentic to what?"
Authentic to my values — yes.
Authentic to the version of me that is still growing — yes.
Authentic in a way that creates genuine connection, rather than simply self-expression — yes.
And: Am I creating space for others to be authentic too? Not just people who are similar to me, but people whose ways of leading, communicating, and showing up look quite different from mine?
That, I think, is where authentic leadership becomes meaningful.
